My girlfriend and I have been dating for over two years now. Lately she has been constantly complaining about how expensive everything is in Singapore. Whenever we go out for meals around Ang Mo Kio, she makes a big fuss about splitting every single bill down to the last dollar.
She tells me she is trying to save up for our future and that I need to be more mindful of our spending. I always felt a bit guilty thinking I was not contributing enough. She even suggested we track every single receipt on a shared app.
But last weekend something happened that completely changed how I see our relationship. Her phone was left on the table while she went to the washroom. A notification popped up on her screen from a bank transfer app.
It showed a recurring monthly transfer of S$800 to a male name I did not recognise. When she came back I asked her about it directly. At first she tried to brush it off and changed the topic immediately.
Then she got defensive and told me I had no right to check her notifications. After pressing her for the truth she finally admitted who the money was going to. It was her ex boyfriend.
She claimed he was going through a rough financial patch and she was just helping him out temporarily. But she never once mentioned this to me during the entire two years we have been together.
What hurts even more is that she expects me to split every cheap meal and transport fare while she quietly hands over S$800 every month to her ex. Now I do not know if I can ever trust what she tells me about money again.
Should I forgive her and set strict financial boundaries, or is this hidden transfer a sign that I should just walk away
What would you do if your partner hid something this important from you?
